Miracle
by timelordsfaultedthestars
Summary: John finds Sherlock near death in their dorm room. Teenlock AU, with Johnlock. Suicide and depression. Please review
1. Chapter 1

John ran into his room realizing he had forgotten his textbook. He had had a rough night and didn't come back to his room, which he shared with Sherlock. His phone was dead so he couldn't check it, but when he tried to get into the room, it was locked, which it never was. He dragged out his key hoping everything was alright, but then he found a trail of blood. Sherlock was in the bathtub with both wrists slashed. John yelled Sherlock and tried to shake him awake, but it was no use. He plugged in his phone to see missed texts from Sherlock asking for help, he felt so responsible. He wasn't prepared for this, nothing could prepare him for this

"John where are you? -SH"

"John we have a case! -SH"

"John, hurry back!-SH"

"John -SH"

"Where are you? -SH"

John felt so ashamed. He yelled for help, but no one could come quick enough. He dragged Sherlock out of the bath and put a towel on him. Finally a boy named Lestrade came in to a teary eyed john and a half dead Sherlock.

"John, what happened?!" he asked.

"I don't know, I just found him like this!" John choked through his tears.

"Well call the police!" Lestrade cried.

"Please help." John said breaking down. As a high school student about to go pre-med he tried to use some previous training. There was nothing he ever learned about a suicide. Lestrade called the police as John looked over Sherlock's body and hugged him. He never wanted to admit that he loved him, but he promised he would love him if he made it out. Just then as his phone finished rebooting and kids crowded around the incoming paramedics, John received one last late text reading

"I'm sorry, I love you.- SH"

"Dammit," he cried. "If only I had been here..." Lestrade attempted to comfort him, but John only shook him off. "Is he going to be okay?!" he asked the paramedics.  
"Where are your guardians?" was their only response.

"Guardians?" John said. "No, we live alone."

John kept screaming towards the paramedics if he was going to be okay. Didn't they understand this was a boarding school? He just needed to make sure he would be okay. He was following the paramedics when he heard a chuckle from a boy name Anderson after a girl named Sally called him a freak. John turned around, out of instinct, and punched Anderson.

John walked off as people tried to stop him, he didn't care about anyone, only Sherlock. He convinced the paramedics to let him come and then he started crying, praying that he would be okay. He just wanted this one miracle.

* * *

**A/N: This was co-written by an anonymous source. I don't know what to do with this, please review. Thank you.**

**~timelordsfaultedthestars**


	2. Chapter 2

John wouldn't eat, sleep, or leave Sherlock's bedside. Nurses told him he should leave, but he just ignored them. After about two days, Mycroft came in with a bagel for John.

"Where the hell have you been?" John asked looking away from Sherlock.

"Working." Mycroft said professionally.

"You're own brother is near death, and you're working?"

"It was necessary I did not cause a scene."

"He's your goddamn brother, who the hell cares?"

"You need to eat."

"No. This is all my fault. I was out, he was having a crisis and I wasn't there."

"This is not your fault."

John didn't respond. He sat back down as Mycroft handed him a bagel. John took it only out of logic and nibbled on it.

Mycroft studied Sherlock a little longer and left. No one could convince John to move let along go back to school. All he could think about was that night, and if Sherlock would be okay.

* * *

_Sherlock's Night_

Sherlock had had a long day, between people constantly calling him a freak, and the speed his mind raced at, it was a relatively long day. It wasn't that he wasn't used to it, it was just that sometimes he felt overwhelmed. It used to be just a split second he would feel that feeling, but now he was overcome with depression and anxiety. The only person in the world that would make him feel alright was John so he started to text him.

"John where are you? -SH"

He waited five minutes and there was no response.

"John we have a case! -SH"

He had kept his feelings hidden from John so long, that tonight he would need to admit he loved him. Sherlock may have seemed like an emotionless robot, but John changed something inside him. He sent another text.

"John, hurry back!-SH"

He was having an anxiety attack.

"John -SH"

His anxiety made him push all rational thoughts out of his heads and filled them with doubt and paranoia. This was an especially bad one, it was one that made him want to kill himself. It drained him of hope, it made him wonder what his life would be like if he was openly gay, he couldn't stand everyone enough as it is. He couldn't stand his own head constantly analyzing and moving, he couldn't stand living anymore. Sherlock had an immediate decision that this was it. This was his end, he couldn't stand what was happening or what was to come. He sent one last text to John.

"I'm sorry, I love you.- SH"

He slit his wrists and sat in the tub filled with cold water. He let go of everything and he was out


	3. Chapter 3

It was a Saturday and John needed a shower and sustenance. He had sat out there since Wednesday and was only torturing himself. He decided it was best that he went back to shower. When he walked in the hallways kids stared at him and whispered, some were rumors while others were from sorrow. It was best for him to ignore so he soldiered on until some kids stopped him.

"Hey faggot!" yelled a boy a year ahead of John. John kept walking, knowing Sherlock would do the same, but he wasn't so sure anymore.

"Oi homo!" screamed on of the boy's friends.

Two more additional boys came in front of him so that he was stuck. One of the boys was rat faced and looked familiar enough that a name came to mind. It was Anderson's older brother and next to him was Sally's older brother. John took the oncoming punches and was knocked down.

"I knew this faggot couldn't fight. " Anderson's brother said kicking him. Anderson walked over there smug as Sally smiled behind him. John picked himself up and collapsed on his bed. He cleaned himself up and ate some food in his mini fridge he used to use to make sure Sherlock would eat. Everything reminded him of Sherlock, to the point where it was painful. He went back to the hospital and sat there staring and hoping.

About an hour later he had signs of life and John yelped. Nurses came in to check on Sherlock, as Sherlock opened his eyes.

"Sherlock." John whispered.

"John." Sherlock responded weakly.

"You know what happened?" John asked wondering if he had memory loss.

"Yes." Sherlock said, remembering cutting his wrists then hitting his head, which is what knocked him out for so long.

All John wanted to do was apologize, it was all he could thing of. He didn't know how he could ever get out of this.


	4. Chapter 4

Sherlock knew he was out for a week, he also knew that John felt guilty as hell for everything by the way John was looking.

"Are you alright?" asked Sherlock.

"Am I okay? Sherlock you're sitting in a hospital bed and it's all my fault."

"No it's not I'm fine."

"Sherlock you need help."

"There is nothing wrong with me!"

"Sherlock, we all have problems."

"Yes they do, don't they."

The nurse walked in to see if everything is alright.

"Are you two okay?" the nurse squeaked.

"Yes I'm fine, when can I leave." Sherlock said, annoyed.

"We have to keep you here on a watch for 72 hours."

"I was here for a week."

"You were incapacitated."

Sherlock sighed as the nurse walked away.

"Why did you do it?" John blurted, uncontrollably.

Sherlock ignored the question and pretended to fall asleep.

John got up and went back to his dorm. This time no one bothered him, but he was given excruciating looks from teachers. He was stopped by his English teacher on his way back to his room.

"John I know your roommate has been out, but that's no excuse for all the missed work."

John was baffled, he had seen plenty of straight couples given breaks when one was in the hospital, even if it was for a broken limb. He contemplated walking away, when he realized it was time to stand up for himself.

"Yeah it is an excuse."

"Pardon Mr. Watson?"

"I've seen you forgive plenty of straight couples when there was a medical emergency, but when it happens to a gay couple it is 'inexcusable.'"

"I think you ought to go to the deans office and learn some manners."

"I will, you homophobic pig."

John marched into the dean's office and waited for an hour. He sat down and they had a conversation.

"Now, I see you have been acting out John."

"By your standards that is correct."

"You know that you have had no excuse to be missing class?"

"I have seen you pardon plenty of straight couples."

"Well you're not a real couple."

John was silenced by this comment. Why was he a second class citizen?

"You will be serving a detention for this." the dean continued.

John was handed a slip of paper marking a detention as he walked out.

"Oh and John, I would keep this all on the down low, I'm sure this is just a phase."

John shook his head. This was unacceptable, but unfortunately this was life, until he could change things.

* * *

**A/N: Hi I really want to thank you all for reading, but I really do need some help as to where to take this. I would appreciate anything at this point. Also it's going to take awhile for me to update things being that I have been in school for the past week, so please bear with me. Again thanks, you guys are sublime.**

**~timelordsfaultedthestars **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Sorry this has been rushed and the updates take so long, I have been busy with school, I promise the chapters to come will be of a better standard. Thanks for all of your cooperation and please critique anything you can. However this story will take some time to update (again work) so please bear with me. Also Sherlock's flashbacks are italicized.**

_Sherlock was bored again. This wasn't out of the ordinary, however his boredom had been accompanied with feelings of depression. With his mind racing constantly, it also caused anxiety, he could always handle it, but he felt like he was losing his grip. _

_A few weeks ago Sherlock had met a dealer at his school, it started when he decided to skip his Calculus class, which was boring anyways. He wandered around the town and was bored by all the false fronts, fake smiles, fake everything. This inspired him to walk into a dark alley, things were so much more truthful from the backside, it was not cleaned, and it was full of shady people, it was the true side of the world. He walked for fifteen minutes when he was noticed by someone._

_"Oi kid." A boy shouted, He was at least seventeen, maybe older. Dropout, but with good clothes. He made a good living, but he was sketchy nonetheless. A drug dealer. Sherlock would normally ignore these types, but today he felt like some interaction with someone who wasn't John. He loved John, but would never tell him, it was his one secret. Through the constant bullying John kept him going, but today maybe this kid wouldn't call him a freak._

_Sherlock walked over, which surprised the drug dealer._

_"What are you selling?" Sherlock asked, surprising himself. Was he really going to do this?_

_The dealer was puzzled as he took out some heroin._

_"First time's free." The dealer said, wondering if he was a cop._

_"Oh for god's sake, I'm not a cop, if I lied that would be entrapment." Sherlock groaned._

_The kid nodded and handed over the drug. Sherlock knew there was a syringe in his chemistry class he could probably snag. He took the drugs and walked away. Sherlock didn't know what he just did, or why he did it. Was it him not caring anymore? He went back into the school undetected like he did on the rare occasion he went out. Going back into his room he was alone, so he grabbed his bag and hid the drug. He went to Chemistry and found John standing at the doorway._

_"Don't you have English?" Sherlock asked._

_"Where were you?" John asked. Sherlock should have known John would give him grief, he always did._

_"Out."_

_John rolled his eyes, knowing he would get any farther with Sherlock._

_Sherlock walked into the room and sat next to his assigned lab partner. Greg Lestrade. Lestrade was a nice guy, but was a bit frustrating at times. Neither of them tried to make conversation, but instead followed basic procedure. Sherlock loved Chemistry, but this class was not advanced enough for him, so it was easy. He knew how to steal, it was easy to him, normally he'd pickpocket Greg whenever he was annoying, however Sherlock had never stolen a syringe. The teacher was nice, but she was also cunning, so getting past her was going to be a challenge._

_In the mess of kids grabbing supplies to set up a lab, he took a syringe and put it in his inner jacket pocket. He was calm as he went back to the lab table and performed the job. He managed to get back to his room before anyone noticed anything suspicious. _

_He was hesitant to try the drug before he broke it down and injected it in. Before he knew it he was flying, he was calm and at peace, it was perfect. He was lying down on his side when John walked in. He had hidden the things, but he was a mess. He was tired, gross looking, and he had contracted pupils. John went to his bed and put his stuff down._

_"Hey Sherlock." John said, as usual._

_"Mind Palace." Sherlock muttered as an excuse. He could barely speak, but those two words were enough to make John be quiet for awhile. After a sigh John said he was going out for a snack. Being that Sherlock rarely ate, John grabbed food whenever he could. _

_Sherlock was hungover the next morning and missed breakfast. It was the beginning of the end._

* * *

This was all Sherlock could think about as he walked through the doors to his school. Sherlock had chosen to not take time off and his brother agreed, but it all felt like a huge mistake. Everything was wrong.


	6. Chapter 6

_He had fallen into a pattern. Whenever any anxiety or depression would come about, he would battle it with a drug. John was going out more, but on the days he did stay in they would study together, John always knew how to make him feel better. Nobody seemed to notice when Sherlock was high, being that he was excellent at hiding it. The usage became more frequent until his Chemistry teacher stopped him one day._

_"Sherlock can I speak to you?" Ms. Wilson asked._

_Sherlock shuffled over to her desk._

_"No deducing or correcting?" she noticed._

_Sherlock sighed._

_"Is everything alright?" she asked._

_"Fine." he muttered._

_"Now that's a lie, because a few weeks ago I took inventory and noticed a syringe missing. Normally I would report it, however very quickly I noticed that you were acting very strange. I was shocked to see my brightest student go down so quickly." she said._

_Sherlock was shocked._

_"Sweetheart, I care about you I want to help you. You're an addict-." she was cut off._

_"There is nothing wrong with me, I am not an addict!" Sherlock shouted._

_"Then what are you? You need help, and if you won't accept it, I will have no choice but to turn you in." she said, calmly._

_Sherlock was stunned._

_"Give me the needle."_

_He didn't want to quit. it was the only thing that made him happy in life, besides John. He loved John, more than just a friend, but Sherlock couldn't accept the fact that he was gay (and that John wasn't, as far as he knew), the heroin just drowned it all out. He was conflicted, but maybe it was time to face the truth. Maybe he could give it up, admit he loved John, and live his life. He had never let emotions get in the way, but he had to quit. It was time._

_"Alright," Sherlock said reluctantly. "But no therapy, I need to do this myself."_

_"I'm afraid I can't advise that." she said._

_"Please."_

_"Fine, but if you ever need to talk, I'm here."_

_Both of them doubted he'd talk, but quitting was enough for her. Later that day he gave her the syringe and it was disposed. _

_He was restless that night. It started at 3am, 14 hours after he gave up the drug. He paced around, he was craving it, but he had to resist. He was sweaty and anxious, and he felt like hell. Around 4am, John stumbled in drunk. Part of Sherlock was relieved to have his best friend back from the kids he drank with, but it was never good to see them both at such low points. _

_"Hey Sherlock!" John exclaimed, he was a clingy drunk._

_"Shut up!" Sherlock yelled, the withdrawal controlled him now._

_"Woah, someone's pissed." John said, falling while Sherlock catches him._

_"Thanks buddy." John said._

_John ran to the dorm toilet as he started to throw up. Sherlock ran to make sure he was okay, but there was a trail of vomit. Sherlock knew he should clean it so John wouldn't get in trouble, so that's what he did. He broke into the janitor's closet and cleaned. Eventually he found John blacked out in the bathroom so he carried him back to his bed. He woke up briefly to thank him, but it was an incoherent babble. Sherlock didn't go to sleep that night._

* * *

_He was slowly falling apart, and it was torture he was trying to hide it, but it was no use. Around lunchtime John sat with Sherlock, like always and tried to talk to him._

_"You've been edgy." John stated._

_"Yeah, so?"_

_"Is everything alright." John inquired._

_"It's fine!" Sherlock yelled._

_"I was just asking, calm down."_

_"No, shut up, you don't care."_

_"How can you accuse me of that? I've stood by your side for the last year when no one else would."_

_"You've been leaving to go drink."_

_"So I drink, you're not alright, you're never this touchy. What the hell is wrong with you?"_

_"Nothing."_

_"Whatever Sherlock, you're being a huge arse."_

_"Leave me I'm going to my mind palace."_

_"Fine you twat."_

_John left and Sherlock was miserable. Sherlock continued the rest of the day, but he was worse that night._

* * *

The boys walked down the hallway with their heads held high. They went to their room and the dorm adviser was there.

"John you're being reassigned."

"Excuse me?"

"We need to reassign you, please pack up."

John knew what this was about, however he had a detention and he couldn't get into anymore trouble.

"And Sherlock, you will be moved into a single bedroom."

"Recently divorced, and bitter. Your ex was gay wasn't he?" Sherlock said, slyly.

"That's none of your concern Mr. Holmes, now both of you pack up and go."

"He takes pity on you, but you still love him, caring is a dangerous disadvantage."

"Mr Holmes-."

"You've gained three pounds since he broke the news."

"Pack up and leave." she snarled.

He smirked as he and John went inside. When they tried to close the door they were stopped.

"We can't let you do that." she said.

"Are you bloody serious?" John said.

"Afraid so." she said with a smirk in return to Sherlock's.

They knew this was just the beginning.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I'm sorry I've been avoiding this story for so long. Hopefully you didn't miss it. Again please review, because I hit the wall quite often.**

**Thanks.**

* * *

They knew that moving was going to happen, they just didn't want to believe it. After all of the crap they had normally taken before either of them were out, they thought that being gay would have much of an effect on the way people thought of them. After constantly being shunned and made fun of, life became miserable for the boys.

Eventually another boy moved into Sherlock's room as John was assigned to a single bedroom. John found out that he was going to share a room, but with a kid he didn't know.

* * *

_Sherlock's night in the new room_

He was on his bed, reading his chemistry book sighing, as he knew all of the concepts, the school refused to move him up another grade level, being that he did so poorly in other subjects.

Around 7pm, after dinner, which Sherlock skipped, remembering that John's drinking friends always accepting him (being that they were drunk or high 90% of the time), the new roommate came.

"Hi." the boy said.

Sherlock ignored him and the boy walked over.

"Hello?" the boy said.

Sherlock sighed and looked towards him.

"Yeah, well I'm Anthony."

Sherlock let out a sign that he knew he was there.

"I'm new here, and I just want to say-." he was cut off.

"You're parents are recently divorced, ergo they sent you here thinking that a boarding school would be simpler than having to deal with the emotional wreckage. you are the youngest of five, from a typical Irish family, however your dad was caught cheating. This was not the first time though, she caught him, and definitely not the first time he cheated. Your brothers always picked on you, and two of them go to this school, but you prefer not to talk about it-." Sherlock was cut off.

"I just wanted to say that I think it's cool you're out of the closet." he said with anger in his voice.

"Oh." Sherlock muttered.

"Don't always assume the worst."

"Was I right?"

"Fucking hell," he muttered. "Yeah, okay you were right."

Sherlock smiled and they continued to interview each other. They weren't necessarily friends, but this would do quite alright.

* * *

_John's night_

He didn't want to move, it was tedious and pointless. Like he was going to fuck Sherlock at school, not even the other kids did that, the walls were paper thin and it was just a bad idea. He didn't go out drinking that night, figuring that he should study. He loved to study with Sherlock, it was one of the little things he loved about him. He smiled a little bit before seeing his new roommate, Anderson.

_God dammit, why bad things happen to good people_. John thought.

"Hi." John said trying to be friendly.

"This is my side fag." Anderson said.

"You know if we're going to be roommates I'd love it if you didn't call me that, especially since it means cigarette." John responded.

Anderson rolled his eyes and started to smoke a cigarette.

"Really?" John whispered, as he began to text Sherlock.

Hey- JW

Hi- SH

How's the new roommate- JW

Fine, actually, you?- SH

Wow. I'm with Anderson- JW

Shit- SH

Yeah I know- JW

They didn't text any longer.

Anderson went on throwing things at him for the night. John hoped Sherlock was having an easier time.


End file.
